


One step at a time

by Outdoorsy



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Baseball, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 12:15:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17244005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Outdoorsy/pseuds/Outdoorsy
Summary: Highschool AU. Jun has just transferred to a boarding school and is struggling with daily life while trying to keep a secret.





	1. 1. How (not) to make friends

  1. How (not) to make friends



 

"No!" With a scream Jun bolted upright in bed and started panting heavily. He felt the tracks of tears on his cheeks and tiredly ran a hand over his face. This was not the first time it had happened.

 

"Matsumoto?" Crap. He had forgotten about the others.

Two worried faces stared at himfrom the darkness of the room.

One of them got up and hurried over to his bedside while the other person asked, "Should I get a teacher?"

 

Taking another shaky breath Jun muttered, "It's fine. I just had a nightmare."

The person at the door switched on the light and the sudden brightness momentarily blinded them all.

Jun sighed and tried to rub away the tear tracks. This was embarrassing.

 

If he remembered correctly the one by the door who had asked if he should get a teacher was called Aiba and the one in front of his bed Ninomiya.

"I'm sorry for waking you." Jun hung his head low and tried to avoid the both worried and curious stares of his roommates.

 

"Are you sure you're ok?" Aiba asked and Jun nodded. He hated the pitiful looks. He had had too many people look at him like this in the past months and couldn't stand it anymore. On the other hand- how should they know? And why should they care?

 

Before he could say anything else someone banged on their door and all three of them flinched. Aiba carefully opened the door to peer through the small gap. He then opened it widely and gave a small bow, smiling at the person standing in the hallway.

"Sho-chan!"

 

Jun fumbled for his glasses and put them on to see clearly. The one Aiba had just called Sho-chan was the president of the school council, Sakurai Sho, a tall second year student who looked pretty angry while he glared at them.

"Some people are trying to sleep. Keep it down. I know that you're not used to sleeping in a dormitory." He glanced at Jun. "But most of us want to sleep at night and not party like you must know it from home."

 

"I'm sorry!" Jun bowed down until his forehead came to rest on his knees he had pulled up to his chest. Great way to start his new life at a new school. He felt tears welling up, but bit his lower lip to stop them. He would not cry in front of a senior. He would not cry at all.

 

"Sho-chan!" Aiba cried out. "Don't be mean! Jun-chan had a nightmare."

Carefully Jun peered at the senior through his bangs. He was almost relieved to see his annoyed face. Most people freaked out when they found out about his nightmares and suggested to see a doctor (or a teacher- like his roommates), but Sakurai just shrugged.

"Next time try not to wake the whole dorm." He slammed the door shut and sent Ninomiya and Aiba into a hushed conversation about how he could have been nicer and poor Jun-chan.

 

"Seriously, I'm fine." Jun groaned. "Let's try to sleep."

 

Starring up at the dark and blurry ceiling Jun found that he was the only one left awake. From the other side of the room he heard Ninomiyas and Aibas snores.

 

Trying not to think about his nightmare he found his mind drifting back to this morning.

 

_"This is Matsumoto Jun, a transfer student from Tokyo. Please take good care of him."_

_Jun bowed his head to a classroom full of students wondering what a transfer student was doing here in the middle of the school year._

_Jun tightened his grip on the handle of his bag.  He just hoped that no one would ask questions._

 

_"Would you like to introduce yourself, Matsumoto-kun?" The teacher asked before Jun could hurry off to a place in the back of the classroom._

_"Matsumoto Jun, 15 years old. I'm happy to meet you all." Before anyone could ask for more he had made his way to the empty desk waiting for him._

_While the others stared at him curiously Jun kept his head down and tried to concentrate on the lesson. Maths, his worst subject. And he had already missed so much stuff he had to learn to catch up with the others._

_A small ball of paper hitting him in the back of his head interrupted him abruptly. He turned around and found a lanky boy grinning at him. The other one checked if the teacher was looking at them and than stretched out his hand._

_"Aiba Masaki, we're rooming together!"_

_During classes some guys had come up to him to introduce themselves but left pretty soon when they found out that Jun wasn't that interested in conversation._

_After dropping off his stuff at his new room Jun had hurried off to the library and had spent the afternoon reading._

_The only person he had talked to that afternoon had been a senior called Ohno who had told him that the library was the best place to take an undisturbed nap and then had proceeded to do so_.

 

_Aiba and Ninomiya had dragged him to the dining hall at seven even though he had told them countless times that he was not hungry. So he had then spent an entire meal trying to eat his udon and avoid any questions concerning his past._

_The president of the school council, namely Sakurai, had given a speech and then they had returned to their dorm to finish homework._

All in all it had been a pretty boring day. But Jun was still wide awake, the nightmare lingering on the edge of his consciousness until he decided to give up on sleep and sneaked out of the room in his running gear.

 

His leg still hurt when he strained it, but running was fine and so Jun found himself running circles on the track at 5 o'clock in the morning. He didn't dare to leave the school grounds.

 

Next to the running track laid the baseball field and Jun wondered if he could try out for the team. He would love to play again, but wasn't sure if his break had had an impact on his strength. He used to pitch in his previous school and hadn't been all that bad, but he was not sure if they actually wanted him on the team. After all the season had already started and he had just transferred here. On the other hand- it would give his mind something to focus on.

 

Driven by a sudden urge Jun stopped and picked up a small rock. He closed his eyes and imagined the roar of the crowd. Here he was, Matsumoto Jun, a rising star, standing on the ground of Koshien. He raised his leg, pulled it up to his chest and then stepped forward in a swift motion, throwing the stone as hard as he could.

 

"Oi, Matsumoto!"

Jun froze and turned around slowly. He had thought he was alone. Otherwise he would have never thrown that stone. His small vision felt like a childish game now.

He had left his glasses in his dorm, not needing them for running, but now he regretted leaving them. Someone was running towards him and he couldn't make out a face just now.

 

Pulling up his shoulders Jun tried to make himself smaller. If only he could just vanish. A heavy hand was placed on his shoulder and he looked up to stare into the face of Sakurai. In a hurry Jun ducked away from the touch and backed away, stumbling a bit.

 

"Hasn't your mom taught you about not throwing stones?" Sakurai was smiling but Jun felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of cold water over him. Without answering he turned around, stumbled, fell, got back up again and bolted.


	2. The odd one out

  1. The odd one out



 

It only took a week for the rumour that that new student was weird to spread. Even Aiba and Ninomiya had started keeping their distance.

It didn't help that Jun had recurring nightmares and had woken the others at least three times the past week.

 

He spent most of his free time in the library and sometimes that Ohno guy joined him. Jun wondered if he had heard about the rumours.

 

The next Monday he stayed back after sports class to talk to the teacher. He had made up his mind to try out for the baseball team. The library wasn't as big a distraction as he had hoped.

"Sensei?" Timidly Jun stepped forward and made their teacher turn around. "Ehm... I used to play baseball in middle school and I was wondering if I could join practice."

The teacher eyed him carefully, taking in his small body and seemed to consider whether he was strong enough. Time stretched out and Jun started to hope he had never asked, but then the teacher shrugged. "Why not? Practice starts at 7p.m., don't be late."

 

The thought of playing baseball again made Juns heart sore, but he was grounded an hour later when their maths teacher asked him to stay back.

"Matsumoto?"

"Yes?"

"I have noticed that you are struggling. Should I find a tutor to help you? You still have a lot to catch up with."

After a few seconds Jun bowed. "Yes, please." Now was not the time to mention him trying out baseball and might not have the time. After all his grades were a bit more important.

 

When he got back to the dorm after dinner Ninomiya who was playing on his Nintendo greeted him. The other one didn't pay much attention but peaked, when Jun started changing into his sports gear.

"Are you joining a club?"

Jun nodded. "I want to try out baseball."

Ninomiya shrugged. "I heard the seniors are pretty hard on the juniors, but have fun."

After a short trip to the bathroom to put in his contacts Jun left the room and took a long breath, before he shut the door.

 

To his surprise Jun met Aiba at the bottom of the steps.

"Jun-chan! Joining a club?" Aiba was as cheerful as ever. He himself was wearing sport gear and it was only then that Jun noticed that while he was shutting himself off he didn't know a thing about the others.

"I thought about trying out baseball. Where are you...?"

Before he could finish his sentence, Aiba interrupted. "Great! I'm also in the club!"

 

Aiba dragged Jun along to the grounds where a few people were already warming up.  Some other juniors were setting up a ball machine and drew the lines of the court back on, using a small cart filled with chalk. Aiba lead him over to a small shack, which he entered. Jun was wondering what was happening when he got back out, handing a rake to Jun.

 

"We have to make sure the ground is nice and clean before the seniors join us."

Following Aiba's lead Jun started raking out the well-used spots on the grounds. Small pieces of plastic buried in the ground marked the bases and the soil leading up to them was carved in in places, making it harder to run. Their job was to straighten them out.

Jun had done this countless times. After all, most baseball fields looked the same and practice didn't differ much between schools.

 

Some other students were carrying a cooling box over to the benches and had started lining up cups for everyone. It was the end of September, but the sun burning down on them was still strong, so they'd need enough water.

 

Suddenly the others stopped dead in their tracks and turned towards the entrance of the grounds. They all bowed at the same time and greeted the seniors who had just entered the grounds. Jun hadn't expected this so he was the only one standing upright. It took him only a second to notice his mistake, but this had been enough to draw attention towards him.

 

"Matsumoto!" Jun froze. He knew that voice and he felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He carefully lifted his gaze and looked in the face of Sakurai who was standing right in front of him.

"I've been told you want to join the team."

Jun nodded timidly. Somehow Sakurai made him feel as if he had done something wrong every time they met.

"Let Aiba show you everything."

Without another word Sakurai turned away from them and left him standing.

 

Practice commenced with them lining up and setting out for a run around the field. Though Jun had thought he was getting back his former strength he was panting hard at the end. Aiba next to him seemed like this was a piece of cake to him and Jun was seriously starting to question his decision to join the club. Maybe he was not ready just yet.

 

It didn't help that he had not slept more than 4-5 hours every night since he started school. To be honest, he hadn't slept well even before, but now he was staring to feel the strain.

But before he could continue pitying himself they stopped running.

 

"Hey, new one!" Someone called out and Jun turned to find himself face to face to a tall senior.

"You'll start out as a ball boy." He pointed to the outer field and Jun, careful not to upset anyone, jogged towards the third base and turned around.

Sakurai was dressing in the clothes of the catcher and the boy who had just sent him out here was getting on the pitcher's mound. All others had lined up as batters and obviously Jun was the only one supposed to collect balls.

 

Now was not the time to complain and maybe he'd get a chance to throw the balls back or something like that. It had to be expected that he wouldn't get to play that soon, but still Jun felt like this was a bit unfair. Aiba joined him seconds later but only to put down a basket he could collect the balls in. The smile he gave Jun was full of pity and Jun hated him for it.

 

Jun spent the next hour collecting all balls flying in his direction. After about 45 minutes his leg had started to hurt but he would never say anything.

"Hurry up!" Someone called in his direction while he was bending down to get a last ball. All the others had already assembled in the middle of the court.

 

"We'll finish with stretching." Aiba whispered in his ear and they split up in pairs of two. In the end the only one left standing alone was Jun and he felt his heart drop. He had to show some team spirit, but he couldn't muster the courage to ask anyone if he could join them so in the end he resorted to using the wall of one of the small sheds to lean against.

Stretching his legs he found that while it hurt quite a bit, he felt happy to feel like he had used his muscles.

 

When he was trying to stretch out his hamstrings, bending down and laying his hands on the ground, someone started pressing on his shoulders, helping him to get further down. He could only see the legs of that person, but felt grateful that someone had decided to help him.

The person behind him pressed into his lower back muscles.

"You're still a bit stiff here." He increased the pressure on Jun's shoulders and placed a hand on his hipbone to straighten it. A sudden pain shot up his bad leg and Jun screamed in agony.

 

It was like time was standing still. Jun felt his knees hitting the ground, the sharp burn of sand scratching his skin, his hands around his throbbing thigh.

When the stars in his vision had finally cleared out he looked up to find every single of the club members staring at him in various degrees of disgust, pity or curiousness.

Jun turned around to look at the guy who had tried to help him. It was a junior wearing a shirt with his name (Ikuta) stitched on who was looking shell-shocked.

"Are you okay?" He asked in a slightly shaking voice, holding out his hand to help Jun stand up.

 

Unable to speak Jun nodded and carefully massaged his throbbing muscles. He remembered the physiotherapist telling him not to overdo it. The pain of the injury was fresh on his mind, but he tried a smile.

"I'm very sorry!" He bowed both to the other club members and Ikuta. Turning towards the other boy he added. "It's not your fault. I overdid it once in middle school and my muscles still haven't forgiven me." It was a lie, but he didn't feel like telling the real reason.

 

Practice finished without any other major happenings, but Jun could feel the stares of the others on him when he started cleaning up with the others.

Jogging over to the basket with balls Jun was joined by Ikuta.

 

"I'm very sorry for what happened earlier!" Ikuta apologized again. "I saw you stretching alone and wanted to help."

Jun smiled. "No harm done. It's just that one muscle that's a bit weird since I've overdone it in middle school. I'm really sorry for causing a ruckus."

Ikuta seemed a bit relieved. "By the way, I'm Toma!"

"Jun." Jun smiled. Maybe he had just made a friend.

 

Their conversation was interrupted abruptly, when Sakurai called out.

"Matsumoto!"

Jun was starting to really dread that voice. He had no idea why but the senior seemed to have it in for him. With a short nod he apologized to Toma and hurried over to Sakurai.

What he hadn't expected was the soft look on Sakurais face, as he eyed him worriedly.

"How is your leg?" He asked in a gentle tone.

"It's fine. Stretching just hurt a bit more than I had anticipated." Jun was carefully avoiding Sakurai's gaze.

 

Before he could move Sakurai had placed a hand on his shoulder and bent down to feel for any hardened muscles on the back of Jun's thigh. Not knowing how to react Jun just stood there, blushing furiously, while his senior massaged the back of his leg.

"Try not to overdo it." Sakurai said while he straightened his back again. He gave Jun a soft pat on his shoulder and left him standing in the middle of the field.

 

The other juniors were staring at him and snicked. Well, Jun could understand them. He was already the odd one out, but now Sakurai had given them even more to talk about, positively groping Jun in front of everyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the descriptions are based on my own experiences joining a sports club during my time in Japan. I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to comment or add suggestions, correct mistakes...


	3. Chapter 3

  1. Settling in



 

While he felt dead on his feet after practice Jun just couldn't sleep. He spent his night staring at the ceiling and thinking about his day and stopping himself from thinking about anything else. It must have been well past midnight when he finally fell asleep.

 

He didn't have any nightmares, but was woken by a pillow hitting his face.

"Get up! We're already late for morning practice!" Aiba was hurriedly dressing in his workout clothes.

Jun jumped out of bed, grabbed his glasses and decided that it was time for a new t-shirt to wear for sleeping anyways so he just pulled his sports pants over the boxer shorts he was wearing and slipped into his running shoes.

In the sprint they made their way down to the grounds.

 

They barely made it before the seniors showed up.

"I'm sorry." Aiba panted. "I forgot to tell you about morning practice." Jun just shook his head and smiled. He was still a bit dazed, but at least he hadn't had a nightmare this night, so he was actually feeling not that tired.

 

Most of the other club members looked quite tired as they started out with a slow jog around the grounds. After that they were told to pair up for some catch ball and again Jun found himself without partner. 

Toma who had teamed up with Aiba raised a hand to get Jun's attention, but the pitcher of all people called out for him.

 

He seemed a bit more civil than the night before.

"Matsuoka, I'm the pitcher on this team." He introduced himself, but before Jun could tell him his name the other one threw a ball with all force and had it not been for his good reflexes the ball would have hit Jun in the face with all its might.

Jun raised his glove and stopped the ball right in front of his face but ended up hitting himself in the face due to the pure force behind the throw.

He let out a small gasp.

 

"What are you waiting for? Throw it back!" Matsuoka smirked at him.

Momentarily overwhelmed with anger Jun stepped forward and threw the ball back with all his force. Matsuoka stepped to the side and followed the ball with his eyes while it flew past him and landed somewhere in the bushes.

He then smiled at Jun.

"You missed. Now get the ball."

 

Morning practice left Jun fuming in silent anger. He had no idea why but Matsuoka seemed to have decided not to like Jun.

Aiba hadn't noticed and to be honest- Jun was glad. He didn't want anyone to know about his struggles.

 

On Friday their maths teacher told Jun to stay back after class.

"I found you a tutor. He's waiting in his dorm room." He told Jun the number and left.

 

Five minutes later Jun knocked on the door of room 217, the room just below his own room and seconds later he could hear someone approaching the door.

Jun frozen when he looked into a familiar face. "Sakurai-senpai..."

Sakurai just turned around, not even sparing a short smile for Jun. "Satoshi, your tutee is here."

He opened the door wider and waved Jun in. Carefully he stepped into the room. It was a bit bigger than his room with only two single beds on either side of the room. There was a low table in the middle of the room and his tutor who was sitting there smiled up at him.

 

"Ohno-senpai!" Jun couldn't help but smile, too. For a moment he had dreaded that Sakurai would be his tutor.

Ohno gestured Jun to sit down next to him.

"Call me Satoshi. I don't really care for all the Senpai-stuff. And you are Matsu..."

Jun interrupted him. "Jun."

"Matsujun, interesting name." Ohno laughed and Jun didn't dare correct him.

 

Ohno turned out to be a very patient tutor. To be honest, he didn't do much. He explained a few things, gave Jun some tasks and spent the next 15 minutes on his phone while he solved them. Then he corrected him and showed him, where he had gone wrong. After about an hour Jun actually felt like he had understood part of what had been gibberish to him before.

Sakurai had left about 5 minutes into their session, but Jun was not too upset about this.

 

They met again in training that evening, but Sakurai didn't even look at Jun and while he had hated it when he called him out he kinda felt a bit sad about it. After all Sakurai wasn't too bad to look at and when he didn't talk he actually seemed nice.

 

Jun had once again been sent out to collect the balls in the outer fields, but this time they finished early, when their teacher called them to assemble in the middle of the grounds.

"We'll play a short game today."

He started assigning positions. Jun had hoped he'd be finally able to pitch again, but his dreams were crushed when their teacher sent him to the right field, as far from the diamond as possible.

 

So far no one had hit the ball hard enough to send it flying any further than the inner field so Jun was starting to get bored. The next to step up to the batters box was Toma and by the way some of the others moved Jun could see that they were preparing for a strong player.

Toma missed the first time, but the second time he beat the ball with all his force and suddenly Jun had to move. He jumped, managed to catch the ball that had hit the ground just a few feet away and had bounced back up.

 

The feeling of finally throwing a ball again rather than just picking it up sent his heart soaring and he only realized that he had overdone it when the ball hit the metal net behind the batter box with a loud clang. No one had expected him to throw that hard and they scrambled to get the ball back so three runners made it back to the home base.

 

After his miss no one from his team would talk to Jun again. To be fair- it had just been a training match, but most of them were miffed about how he had not tried to get the ball to even one of them.

 

The next few weeks proved to be hell for Jun. He was not allowed near a ball again during practice and most of the seniors started whispering when he passed them. He tried to ignore them, but it started to get to him after a few days.

The extra stress didn't help with his nightmares and soon enough Jun felt tired constantly.

 

When Sho got back from his last lesson a dark room greeted him. A bit irritated he turned on the light and stepped into the room.

"Satoshi?" He called out only to be hushed by his roommate.

Ohno pointed at a small pile of blankets next to him. "He just fell asleep, try to be a bit more quiet."

 

When Sho stepped closer he could make out a human figure under the blankets.

In question he raised his eyebrows.

"He has not been sleeping well." Ohno explained and started running his fingers through the hair of the sleeping person.

A bit curious Sho kneeled down next to Satoshi and found himself staring at Matsumoto Jun's sleeping face.

 

Asleep he looked even younger and more vulnerable than before. He had dark circles carved into the skin under his eyes and looked pretty pale.

"He's been having nightmares." Ohno continued.

Sho nodded quietly. "I've heard him once and was pretty rude to him then." He sounded like he regretted it quite a bit.

 

Sho got back up again and started changing into his sports clothes.

"Maybe we should put him on a bet or get him back to his own room?" He suggested while he pulled the shirt over his head.

Ohno nodded and together they lifted Matsumoto up and placed him on the nearest- Sho's- bed.

"I'll tell the teacher that he is not feeling well." Sho smiled a bitter smile and ran a hand over Jun's head before he left the room. Maybe he had been too quick to judge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too happy with how it turned out, but I hope you'll like it anyways...


	4. Sleepover

  1. Sleepover



 

For the first time in a long time Jun didn't wake up screaming, crying or panting.  He woke up to someone running his hand over his head, placing a cool palm on his forehead and speaking softly.

He couldn't quite remember what had happened. The last thing he knew that Ohno was explaining something and growing more tired by the minute.

 

"Matsujun?"

He groaned, but opened one eye.  He was lying on something soft, covered by a blanket and could not recall how he got there.

"You fell asleep during our tutoring session." Ohno, who was sitting in front of him, explained.

 

With a small noise of discomfort Jun sat up and looked around, taking in the dark room. This was neither his room nor his own bed.

Ohno switched on the lamp on the side table.

"How are you feeling? Better?" He sounded a bit worried.

 

"I'm fine. Just sleepy." Jun yawned. For the first time in ages he just wanted to sleep some more, not afraid of having another nightmare. Somehow he felt very comfortable where he was sitting now.

Before he could move any further the door banged open and Sakurai hurried inside, carrying a bottle of water and a small red package.

 

He saw that Jun was awake and gave him an encouraging smile Jun couldn't place.

He sat down next to Ohno and unscrewed the bottle of water before handing it to Jun. "Are you feeling better?"

Jun was getting more confused by the minute.

"I'm fine. I never felt bad. Or sick, or anything. I just fell asleep and you didn't wake me." He turned on Ohno, an accusing tone in his voice.

He then noticed that Sakurai was wearing his sports gear and scrambled to get up.

"I'm already late for practice!"

 

Sakurai placed a hand on his shoulder and forced him to sit back down. "Practice has ended an hour ago. You were fast asleep and it looked like you needed it."

Jun's eyes widened and he looked like he was about to have a panic attack.

"I'm so sorry!" He apologized and bowed down, his head almost hitting his knees.

Sakurai laughed and gave Jun's head a small pat.

"It's fine. No harm done."

 

Before Jun could reply he heard a small beep from the side and looked at Ohno, who was holding out a thermometer towards him.

"I think you were running a small temperature earlier."

"I'm fine!" Jun rebuffed and refused to take the thermometer. Before he could get back up again, Sakurai one again placed a strong hand on his shoulder.

"Take your temperature anyway, just in case."

 

Seeing the pleading eyes of his seniors Jun sighed and took the thermometer, placing it in his armpit and frowned at them while they all waited for the beep.

After a few seconds it beeped and Sakurai snatched it from him before he even had the chance to look at it.

"37.8°C. That's a bit higher than normal." He frowned at Jun and eyed him carefully, before he placed his hand on his forehead.

 

Jun flinched and turned his head away, cheeks growing red in embarrassment.

"Just try to sleep some more. " Ohno suggested, gently pressing on Jun's shoulders, forcing him to lie back down.

"But..." Jun tried to get back up again. "I'm blocking your bed. I can sleep in my room."

Ohno laughed.

"No, you're not." He turned around and smiled at Sakurai. "Sho-chan, you can have my bed. I'm going over to Kazu's, we'll have a sleepover!"

 

In total horror Jun stared at them both. Ohno, who looked quite content with his suggestion, and Sakurai, who nodded at him and smiled a warm smile.

"Good idea."

Who was that and what had he done to Sakurai?

"No, it's not!" He protested.

Ohno gave him a gentle pat on the head.

"Be a good boy and listen to your seniors."

 

He picked up his pyjamas and waved at Jun and Sho, before he left the room, sending Jun into another horrible thought spiral.

Was he still wearing his school uniform? He jumped up and almost bumped into Sakurai who was getting up to stop him from whatever he was planning to do.

In a triumphant voice he declared. "I won't sleep in my school uniform and if I have to get up to get my pyjamas, I can also sleep in my own bed."

 

Sakurai just shook his head and Jun didn't dare move while he opened the cupboard and took out an old and well-used t-shirt, handing it to Jun.

And finally Jun realized that he had lost that fight. He got up and before Sakurai could stop him, mumbled. "I'm just going to the toilet."

He couldn't quite understand why his seniors wouldn't allow him back in his room.

 

The shirt smelled just like the bed and slowly Jun was realizing that this was how Sakurai smelled. He felt himself blush when he thought about how comforting he found it.

When he got back into bed Sakurai gave him an encouraging nod, before he once again sat down at Jun's bedside.

"If there is anything bothering you, you can always talk to me or Satoshi. You look pretty exhausted and both of us would prefer it not to leave you alone like this."  
Jun once again didn't know what he should reply. This was a totally new side to Sakurai and he was not sure if he hated it because it made him like Sakurai or if he liked it for the same reason.

The last thing he remembered before succumbing into a deep, dreamless sleep was Sakurai telling him to sleep well.

 

-2 hours earlier-

 

"Nino?" Aiba sounded shaken as he stumbled into their room. He looked as if he had cried.

Nino felt his heart drop. While Aiba was known for being a bit over dramatic, something told him that this was the real deal.

Aiba sat down on his bed and buried his face in his hands, giving a small sob and then melting into the awkward hug as Nino placed his arms around him.

Wordlessly he unlocked his phone and handed it to Nino. Nino felt his stomach drop while he read and suddenly he was crying, too.


	5. Truth

  1. Truth



 

" ** _Family killed in horrible accident_**

 

**While returning from their youngest son's baseball match, a truck hit a family, killing 3 of them and leaving one severely injured.**

_On the afternoon of March 11th, a horrible accident happened at Shibuya crossing, Tokyo. A family of 4 was returning from watching their youngest son's baseball match in their car when a truck that was running over a red light hit them. The accident killed the mother (Matsumoto Yuuko, 43) and the daughter (Matsumoto Rina, 17) instantly, while the father (Matsumoto Hideyoshi, 47) died on the way to the hospital. The youngest son (Matsumoto Jun, 14) was severely injured and has not regained consciousness yet. The truck driver has not been injured._

_The accident caused a major disturbance in Tokyo's traffic as it blocked one of the main crossings for both motorized vehicles and pedestrians. It took the authorities 3 hours to clear the accident sight. An inspection of the truck showed that its' brakes were damaged and had not been maintained as they should have been. This accident will be a reminder to everyone to be more careful in traffic while taking properly care of his or her motorized vehicles."_

After a few moments of silence, Aiba sobbed. "Some of our senpai were showing this around at practice, laughing about it."

He once again choked on his tears while Nino rubbed his back, not able to stop crying himself.

"Thankfully, Jun-chan was not at practice so he doesn't know that they found that article. Sho-chan promised to take care of him. He said Jun-chan is sleeping in their room."

 

They continued to cry wordlessly when a small knock on their door disturbed the silence. Ohno came bustling in, carrying an arm full of cloths. He dumped them on Jun's bed and hurried over to his juniors.

 

"Sho-chan told me." Ohno sat down next to Nino, rubbing small circles on his back. "Are you ok?"

Nino nodded and tried to look a bit less devastated. "Is Jun?"

"He doesn't know yet. He has not been feeling too well today and Sho-chan forced him to stay in our room to get a proper rest."

Nino leaned against Ohno and pulled Aiba with him so he ended up sandwiched in between the others, taking comfort in the warmth.

 

After a few moments of silence Aiba asked. "So, how should we talk to Jun about it?"

Nino shrugged. He had been asking himself the same question.

"But we have to! The seniors in the club know and they already have it out for Jun!"

Aiba had started sobbing again.

But no one knew an answer to his question.

 

 

_From: Sho_

_To: Ohno_

_How are Aiba and Nino doing?_

_From: Ohno_

_To: Sho_

_Not too well. They are afraid of talking to Jun about it. How is he?_

_From: Sho_

_To: Ohno_

_Currently asleep. He felt a bit warmer earlier, but I don't know if I should wake him to get him to drink some more water. He looks quite peaceful, so I'm just watching and waiting._

_From: Ohno_

_To: Sho_

_Creep._

_From: Sho_

_To: Ohno_

_Shut it. You should probably try to sleep, too._

_From: Ohno_

_To: Sho_

_Mother hen. Good night._

The next morning came way to early. Neither of them had slept well bar Jun. When he woke up, Sakurai was just getting dressed. For a few moments he couldn't help but watch him and admire the muscular back, but then Sakurai turned around and Jun felt himself blush furiously.

 

Sho took this as a sign of fever and came bustling over with his shirt still unbuttoned.

He crouched down next to Jun and palmed his forehead.

"You feel normal. Are you ok?"

"Good morning to you, too." Jun yawned and sat up.

 

"Did you sleep well?"

Jun nodded and smiled a shy smile. "This has been the best I've slept in months."

Realizing what he had just said he looked away quickly. He felt like a girl with a crush. 'Senpai notice me' and all.

Sho sighed and buttoned his shirt before he sat down on the edge of the bed next to Jun.

"We need to talk."

 

Jun froze. Sakurai sounded weird. He had never seen his senior like this. His eyebrows almost touched when he furrowed his forehead in an expression that looked like a mix between worry, anger, sadness and seriousness.

Before he could answer, Sakurai continued.

"Some of the seniors found the newspaper article about your accident online."

 

He couldn't breath; it was as if all air had been pressed out of him. In a distance he could hear the screeching of the wheels, someone crying out, probably their last noise they'd ever make and Sakurai's face in front of him started to blur.

 

With his first gasp came the tears.

 

Someone hugged him, pressed him to their chest and started gently patting his head in a comforting gesture. The smell made him return to this world.

A soft, comforting scent and Jun couldn't stop crying, letting out all the pent up pain and sadness, his face buried in Sakurai's chest, his tears soaking his shirt.

 


	6. Announcement

Just to let you know- I haven't abandoned this fic. I'm just struggeling to write anything about death right now (and Jun's story about the accident is where we're going right now), since one of my grandparents is pretty close to leaving this earth. I hope you understand this!

I'll get back to this fic as soon as I feel able to.

I might keep working on lighter stuff in the meantime.

Best wishes,  
Outdoorsy

**Author's Note:**

> I just felt like writing again. If you want to you can listen to the "Kimi no Uta" track while reading, that's what I'm doing while writing.


End file.
